Tiredness...

Well, it's barely October, and I'm already feeling the squeeze of trying to carve out a meaningful life in the midst of the seemingly unending list of things there are for me to do before December. I think the hardest part is that it all seems so necessary sometimes; not in the eternal sense, but in the weight of its urgency.

School is most definitely the thing I could do without most of the time. It's not that I hate the place (although at this point, I'm beyond frustrated with the hoops I've had to jump through to get a degree from these people), it's just that I find it incredible that of all the things I could be doing with my life right now, I am there, getting a degree so that other people can look at a piece of paper on my wall and esteem my worth more favorably than they would've if they thought I'd dropped out. Wonderful.

I'm telling myself that it will be worth it, and Lord knows there's more than likely a good measure of faithfulness being built into my character by the waiting I'm having to do. I know that God doesn't waste a hurt, and I'll never be able to look back and find time he couldn't use for a greater purpose than this, but dangit, I tire of it sometimes.

So I find in myself a conflict.
I want to whine. I really want to. But there are a few things I need to consider. For instance, I know that:
a) God can redeem all the moments I live in, even when I want to be living somewhere else instead.
b) There are no other Flamingo Road Church staff members who are in the school of music, therefore, I have a measure of influence in a place where the friends I work with don't.
c) I am graduating in two flippin' months, for crying out loud!

So really, the smart thing to do would be to shut up and keep pressing towards December, and stop pretending like life isn't happening for me until then.

Yeah, I'm a big fat whiner when I'm tired, I know.
Anywho, I'm off to sleep. Be encouraged, because if God puts up with me, he'll certainly put up with you.

Bendiciones.